*bilchyfizz__________________ i cant find myself
/Monday, July 03, 2006
/23:31

been werkin fer 2 weeks now.. so far, so good.. not much time fer myself nw tho. its either skul or werk. haha.. if not, i'll be sumwhere killing time (or getting killed by boredom). lol..

skul is surprisingly stressless rite nw despite fyp. it really scares me.. since i've been failing lately. n others are like sooo bz while im not. -shakes head- ala.. dun wanna think abt it la.

rus's license kena revoke- again. sheesh.. so nw by rite he cnt ride but u know hw he is.. n to add to his headache his ktm kena tarik. haha.. haiz. i dunno wat to say anymore la.. i noe im supposed to make him feel better but hw can i if he brought it upon himself? lets face it- the truth hurts. n i dun wanna lie.. -winks-

things are not wat it seems.. im sailing thru life alone in a crowded boat. my heart aches longing fer love dat doesnt exist. i stretch out my hand to grab an illusion. i believe in miracles.. if i pray hard enuf, if i believe strongly enuf, my dreams will cme true. it will..

sometimes i think im being stupid. y cage d feelings dat is raging to embrace reality? y force it to hide in fantasy knowing dat im only gonna suffer more n more? i know i've got nuthin to lose.. but.. i dun know nuthin.

all i know..

all i want..



is you.

xxmuackxx
___________da story endz like this..




_____B I L C H Y_____

I'm shy. sensitive. gentle. patient.
I'm exuberant. lively. exhibitionist.
I hide the considerable depths of my character under a
cloak of frivolity.
Sometimes I make no sense.
Sometimes I'm perfect.
Sometimes I'm a mess.

Narcissist.
If I don't love me, who will?

I do not give myself easily and are sometimes accounted cold.
If I'm deceived my anger is terrible.
If disillusioned, I do not forgive.


Try figuring me out. You never can.
I am all extremes...



I.N.T.I.M.A.T.E.S.

LAF
ayu
bubz
eila
fad
fara
horny bitch
nad
ns
runn
shashi-mee
syafiq
syira
van
wan khai
yan han



h.u.s.h. ___ h.u.s.h.